So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize