I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize