I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
