nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
