I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
