forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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