no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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