Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
