i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
