PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
