is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
