I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
3pm strippers are depressing
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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