we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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