Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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