Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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