My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
