Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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