i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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