Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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