i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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