You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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