will power is for people who don't want to get laid
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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