Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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