ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
3pm strippers are depressing
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
