i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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