you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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