I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
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I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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