Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
