so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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