i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
