3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
