don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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