so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
