CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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