I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i think my cat just said my name.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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