Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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