i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
