Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
