Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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