After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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