I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
