I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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