you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm just crazy horny about you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
