Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize