I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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