Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
