Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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