We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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