Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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