Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
look no pants
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
