No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
