Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize