i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The power of my boobs compel you
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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