At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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