Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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